Choosing a path means having to miss out on other things. I have my whole life a head of me and am mostly wondering if in the future I will come to regret the choices I have make now. I was not afraid of committing myself before, now I think I have this strange phobia to anything that could mean serious. I want to follow all possible paths and I worry that I might end up following none. After all the romantic disappointments, can I give of myself entirely? I fear pain, loss and rejection. These things will be inevitable on the path of love, and the only way of avoiding them is by deciding NEVER to take that path at all. In order not to suffer, I have to denounce love. Its like pulling out my own eyes not to see the bad things in life..
I'm not perfect.. Am far from it...in fact, I rarely ever have easy Sunday mornings or enjoy the sunsets on Friday... My heart is like a giant cocktail of anger, depression, oppression, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, torment, un-fulfillment, irritation, exhaustion...my emotions are running all over the place and I can barely keep my feet on the ground. I feel like a broken mirror, shattered in a million pieces...am unable to pick myself up and move on with life. Am unable to stand up and face this life. The elegance and class quickly turn into despair and this mask I hate has slowly become a part of me. In fact, I wear it better than I wear my face, It gives me a perfect smile and a great complexion. It hides the dark circles around my eyes. The light and the darkness underneath my skin have become a volcano...the heat is slowly building up inside me and am about to erupt. I can't wish upon a star and hope that tomorrow isn't filled with ...
Get busy living or get busy dying...
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